Sunday, March 01, 2015

confusion.


assalamualaikum. 

perplexed. life is so damn hard and confusing at the same time man. i mean i am still puzzled about my pathway to degree like we don't have too many choices of degree courses and the course that most of life science students want is limited and the chances of getting there is so effin slim. but i want to enter that faculty because it has been my dream since i was 5 idk. maybe i aint destined to take that course but i want it so bad. haih being this serious in an entry susah gila lol. 

keliru. kemahuan atau kenyataan. kadang susah nak bezakan kemahuan dengan realiti sebab masih tak dapat terima realiti. tak dapat berpijak di bumi yang nyata. kemahuannya nak capai cita-cita dari 5 tahun, realitinya diri pemalas, cgpa mungkin tak lepas requirements kalau semester ni tak struggle. i've struggled last sem but you know, He knows better. maybe there's a reason why. maybe because i really am a lazy one so He wants to show me why i shouldnt be one of ppl that get good grades without even trying hard. 

i admit that my passion for that ambition had disappeared because of the challenges that i will face if i were granted a chance to enter that course. i gave up too easily but recently, i read a really good book that really inspires me to become one of those lucky persons. idk it motivates me though, but i still ended up here venting about life lol. btw, it's already march 1 so i do hope that this month will give me some reason to keep being strong and do not lose hope. 

i need to brace myself because this month will definitely turn me into a panda but yeah, a cute one ofc hahahaha. too many works need to be done and those unnecessary generic subjects assignments, presentations, lab reports, pbl, quizzes, tests and ya allah i think im gonna die. the only two things that keep me sane are nawaitu and my parents hope. i dont think i could survive if i dont think of that things. but anyway, my muet is on this saturday so in case ada orang baca pls tembakkan doa for me and may allah bless you bc i am so afraid and idk why.

i think that's it. im done venting and it's already 11pm so i need to sleep bc i dont think im gonna wake up early tmrw bc i went to class 15 minutes late last week so yeah. that's it im done lol bye.

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